Thursday, June 19, 2008

What day is it now......

So I have lost track in the miserable days without my husband.
It has not been that bad I am just being over dramatic! I do miss him though. I had the pleasure of having our nephew Devin (Nate's blood nephew) and our cousin Taylor (My blood cousin) who are both 12 staying with me a couple of days! At first I thought "What did I get myself into?" It was a good time though. I cleaned up the house last night "Whew" I had dirty dry soap bubbles in my bathroom, an empty rice crispies box in my cabinet, misc. dishes around the house, gaming things strung about here and there, left over nachos in the fridge! LOL At one point they were horsing around and I looked at -V- and said "Is this what it is going to be like when I have kids?" *Insert giggle here*
Last night was the first night in a VERY long time that I was home all alone, no Nate, no kids, no -V-. Have I ever mentioned that I am afraid of the dark, it is really more of a love hate relationship. Sometimes -V- checks under the bed and in the closet for the boogie man.
So tonight was the first night that I had nothing to do after work, I hung out with some ONB girls and then went and tanned and came home to give my babies some tuna! I couldn't find any can's so I had to bust open a packet. I refuse to give them the crap that people call wet cat food. So as a treat they get Starkiss tuna, man I am a good mom :0)
Checked out my blog roll, Cobi's blog is rocking out a sweet tape! You should check it out.
I left some chocolaty cookies at Pinks.... Tonya said they were broken into....do you think they still exist? :0)

Sunday, June 15, 2008

All Alone!

Bed to myself! WOOHOO!
No Husband. BOOHOOO!

Day in a Nut Shell

Stayed up waaaay toooo late helping Nate get ready for New Orleans. I MISS HIM ALREADY AND HE IS NOT COMING BACK UNTIL NEXT SATURDAY! Got up on time woke Devin and went to church. Ryan did the sermon today and it was great! I missed PK but everyone needs a break and what not. Nate C. led worship for the first time today and at a few points I felt as though I should pay him for the concert!!! Way to go Nate!!!!
Sold some scrip (COME ON PEOPLE HELP THE YOUTH), did some laundry, took boys to Youth, learned how to shoot a basket, got to attempt to out run a storm, dropped a kid off at his home, successfully dodged fallen trees, attempted to wait out the storm, drove back to Muncie, got home to take in CLEAN laundry and discovered Taylor and Devin who are staying at my house this week so kindly placed the Mexican food in a styrofoam container on top of my WHITE CLEAN laundry. Um,..... white and clean?,..... no more!, kept anger in check, played some Mario Kart, sat on my bed to get on the computer, watched in silence as the BIG mirror *in slow mo* from my vanity fell forward towards the foot of my bed as Lori is standing right next to it and SHATTERED!, Lori screamed, I grabbed a cat to save her, cleaned up glass mess at midnight, made crazed woman below us BANG and BANG and BANG on our floor, wrote a nice note for our next door neighbor to let him know what happened and apologize, wrote a note for crazed woman put it on her door, came back upstairs, turned computer back on, downloaded some music, and blogged! Goodnight fair blogger readers!

Friday, June 13, 2008

This is the week that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends...

So what a day? Hah! Whata week!!! I got off of work at 7:30 tonight. Why you ask? Because I felt the need to chat with my boss. I had reached my breaking point this week so I asked for a chat. She kindly put it off until 5 pm, the bank closes at 5:30 on Friday's and we left at 7:30. I prayed and asked God to give me the strength, wisdom, courage, words, and restraint ;0) he pulled through (was there ever any doubt) I feel better, do I think things will change? No. That is ok too, because I am getting a tolerance built up, I am positive this will help me in the future. Always a silver lining. When I got off my phone was blowing up! I had texts, v-mails, missed calls, the whole 9 yards! Mocash invited us over for some hang out time, we didn't make it. I really wanted to go but by the time things settled down we played phone tag, and it got late so it just didn't work out this time. I made dinner and called a cool chick back, she invited me and Nate to go see a movie with some cool cats here in Muncie! Woohoo, so after dinner at 9:35 Nate and I headed to show place 7 to see a 9:40 showing of IRON MAN. You see that's the best part we live here so we can leave our house at 9:35 and still make it on time.
So rough week or not Cobi helped me end it on a sweet note!
THANKS COBI!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Rated R for violent content

I woke up today out of a dream about my very best friend Marva. It was a really sad dream. I went back to the prosecutors office to demand some answers, get on the list to be notified in the event Justin has a release trial, and see the crime scene pictures. *In reality I do need to go there and get on the list and get some answers but I don't think they would show me the pics* The first thing I got to see was a picture of Marva just laying there with her mouth open. She wasn't swollen or abused just laying there with her mouth open. It took my breath away literally! The prosecutor asked me if I was alright and I couldn't answer him, I tried but I couldn't get it to come out, eventually I whispered "I'll be fine I just need a minute" but they gave me some pictures to look at that they had collected for evidence. They were pictures of Marva when she was little, I am not sure how they got them because she was taken away from her mom at the tender age of 3 and bounced from foster care to children's home the rest of her underage life. So I looked at them and was angry.... where were these people now? So it was time for me to start looking at the crime scene pictures again and my alarm went off.
One of the reasons it was so weird was because I haven't dreamed about my beloved friend in awhile and I was kind of awake while I was dreaming. When I woke up I wasn't sad or overwhelmed but I couldn't breathe. I talked to Nathan about it and he said that he had a dream about Marva as well. I went on my way to work and then broke down in the car. It was uncontrollable.
When I got to work I told my assistant manager what was going on so she would know what was going on and not have to have the awkward "How ya feeling today" conversation, she pointed out that the situation the other night with my Peep may have brought it all back.
BING! *That's the sound of a light coming on*
So I took a break from the bank and ran through the rain to drive to Wal-Marts parking lot and cry hysterically and call my support, she did a great job of calming me down. I had a heavy feeling in my chest and I literally was having trouble breathing, I woke up that way and it steadily got worse. Anxiety attack anyone?

It scares me

What, why, I was doing so good.
Is God trying to help me out? Give me the reminder so I can do what I need to do for others? Is Marva trying to let me know something is going on? Is Justin getting ready to get out because he is such a good boy in jail?

I know I should just turn it over to God and say "Guide me" but what if he is and I am not seeing it? What then? Is this my sign? Is there something I should be doing but am gravely missing?

I often think of Marva, well a lot. I miss her so very much. I used to cry and say "I know it is selfish but I just want her back" but now I am doing better she is much better off and why would she ever even think of leaving paradise with our loving heavenly father to come back to Earth, filled with despair? I know she loved me as much as I loved her but still, I wouldn't come back. I would be saving a seat in heaven for her.
So that is what I like to think, that when it is my time to go she will be there waiting with God for me. Open arms. Hopefully she is taking care of my loved Peadad until I'm there too.


After work I went to JMe's and we worked on MoCash's baby shower, *side note, it is going to rock* and then on the way home I almost ran over and killed a man.
NO JOKE
I was driving on St. Rd. 32 (the 32 as Pink would say) when this joker on a motorcycle cut me off. I passed him as he was getting ready to leave the parking lot of the Winchester bowling alley he pulled out into the middle lane and then got even with me while still riding in the center (turn) lane then he decides he is going to cut me off. He does NOT signal but just starts to get in my lane. His back tire was even with my front tire, so really he wasn't even cutting me off but trying to run me off the road. I swerved into the grass in front of what is now an empty Radio Shack and did a BIG curb check. Luckily I had my wits about me or he would have hit my tire and his bike would have swung into the front of my car and I would have ran over him and his crummy bike but since I was totally in control of my wits I swerved (not too much mind you) and missed an electric pole and only took out some grass and a bit o curb. When I slammed on my brakes my tires squealed and then he looked back! WHAT A LOSER! He kept on going. No helmet, leather, gloves, boots, nothing. Drink much did ya buddy? Have another!
I don't know if you have ever actually came close to running somebody over but it was one of the scariest things in my life. I have had plenty of car wrecks NOT A SINGLE ONE MY FAULT EITHER! SCOUTS HONOR! but to actually come close to mortally injuring or even just running them over is a nightmare. All the blood rushed to my brain when I tensed up so I drove the rest of the way home with a pounding headache! Just an FYI we were the only 2 people on the road and I was in my lane driving the speed limit! I'M JUST SAYING PEOPLE, I'M JUST SAYING...
And here I am blogging about it all, WHAT A DAY WHAT A DAY!

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Bloggers Block!

So no post since May 28th! I know what a looooooooser :0) I think I have a severe case of Bloggers Block! Any ideas on how to overcome it are welcomed. Actually people, please help.


So today was a great day. I almost was struck by lightning while sitting at my desk, the phone exploded in my ear! But after that the day really was a great day and even the minor set back of almost being struck by lighting was an extra excitement to kick start my day. Nathan and I went to Indy to spend the day at a BBQ birthday party for a relative of mine who turned 50. This person is a super guy, he and his family really mean a lot to us. We ended up visiting a LOT longer than originally planned so we didn't leave Indy until midnight. On the way home I got a call from some friends from work. They were having a party and wanted me to stop by. This is not the kind of party that I would normally frequent! I started out with a no but I caved and I went, I just felt like I NEEDED to make an appearance. I did not "party" but I chilled for about an hour and a half with the "party" animals. Long story short I ended up being able to witness about our AWESOME GOD to one of my peeps and God used me to be a support for another of my peeps who is in a very bad situation. I was able to make a connection to my Marvelous friend Marva Rhea to get a point across. No I did not solve the peep's problem or convince my peep of what the peep should do but I did plant a seed a seed that I feel will grow. Good things are going to happen. I felt the urge and I responded, isn't it funny that God can take you places and help you achieve things that you never thought possible!? My idea of a party is Friends, food, AC, and the Wii! Let me just say... only friends were involved in this party. Thank you God for giving me the strength to answer your call, to be able to travel into an unknown, to have the courage to brag about you, to say no when I know something is wrong or would not glorify you, to be able to be a rock in a hard situation that hits far too close to home, to be able to go to bed at 3:45 am and still wake up and get to church in the morning *side note* maybe not on time :0) THANK YOU GOD! I love you.