Tuesday, March 30, 2010

God then me, sorry no time for you.

So I participate in a triad with two very dear friends. We agree to study 30 chapters of the Bible for a week, then we get together or email about it. Since we all read the same chapters we can bounce things that we find in our selected readings off of each other. In this way we grow our relationship with God and with each other. We hold one another accountable if we fall behind or are even contemplating doing something we shouldn't and it, it is good.
I do good for awhile but often get off track with my priorities.
You put the important things first like God, then the rest will just fall into place.
I do great then BAM I let the "little" things sneak in and the next thing I know I am cramming to get the important things done at the last minute. I often volunteer before I really think about what I'm saying, I put other peoples needs before myself (not necessarily a bad thing) but it is getting out of hand.
Well I have decided I don't want to stay on that roller coaster anymore.
Stop please I'm getting off.
I am going to prioritize myself more.
I will read my Bible and spend time with God daily.
I will get my school work done on time.
I will fit haircuts in for others when I can and not just say yes because I'm sure I can squeeze it in.
I will do a little house work daily instead of waiting until I shower at midnight to give the shower a "quick deep clean"
I will make time to call friends but I will do better about saying "Sorry I can't help out with that"

What has prompted this?
I have a knot in my stomach because I have school work, very hard school work and the time to complete it is running out. I normally work well under pressure but it ain't happening so much just now.
I normally do a good job of expressing myself and letting out the poison that reeks inside but right now it is stuck just under my esophagus. I'm distant and tired.

I had a mini conversation/potential argument with my mom tonight about how I'm not "family" enough for her. What it boils down to is that we just have two very different opinions of what family is. During this is when I realized that I am doing too many things at once for too many others and I'm letting me and everything that I need to be doing slip away.

I need to put God first, then I need to concentrate a wee bit on my self and what it is that I need to do. I want to be there for everyone but just like they tell you on a plane "If the face masks fall please put yours on first. If you attempt to help others put theirs on and you pass out you will be doing no good for anybody"

I need to put my mask on first people. Don't be afraid to ask. If I can do it I will but don't be upset if I have to say "I just can't right now" that doesn't necessarily mean "No" it might just mean "later"

I took the time to read my Bible on my lunch today. Took time for myself instead of working on something for someone else. It really refueled me and for that I am thankful. I was refueled by God because he needed me to be ready for what he sent my way.

I called a customer who was on our over draft list today and he just happened to be in one of my classes last semester. He came in so I could help him with his account and he had an eye patch over his right eye. In the course of conversation I discovered that he shot himself but was unsuccessful in his suicide attempt.
We talked about God.
It was good.

Thank you Jesus for doing what it is that only you can do. Thank you for giving me the strength when you knew I would need it.
Thank you for letting me share how wonderful you are with others. And thank you for giving me the gumption to say "No" to people when I need to.

2 comments:

Melissa said...

Wow! What a post! It was great to read! Insightful and inspiring! I say "do it!" Put God first, tell others no....I like it when I know others are being honest with me.

Thank you Jesus and thank you that you prepared yourself today! You may have been part of a man's journey to finding grace and peace!

I am proud of you!
Melissa

Kristin said...

Way to go, Kim! You know what your priorities are and you're sticking to them. The world can be such a challenge that it tries to make you reprioritize; I'm glad you're not giving in!