Friday, April 20, 2012

Happy Birthday My Beautiful Friend!

Man oh man my beautiful friend, I miss you like crazy. It is hard to believe that it has been 5 years 4 months since you were taken away from here. I am so happy that you are in Heaven, streets of gold, playing a harp and what not.....but I'm selfish and want you here.
Funny how things work. Just this week a dear friend confessd to me that she was in an abusive relationship. Because I'm selfish my first thought was to God "Are you freaking kidding me!?!? I don't want this, I don't want to have to be strong again, I don't. Why me?" but then I realized that becaue I had been down this horrid road with you that I am equipped to handle this situation with wisdom. So I did. Will it work? Sadly probably not. This week I have been flooded with emotions that involve you. I normally am pretty srong but you know sometimes you just need a good healthy cry. The kind that creates a lot of snot and you get the silent heaves because you are trying to be strong but your not sure why because you are home alone.
I want you to be here to remind me of all the quirks you had. What was your favorite custard: Vanilla or Lemon. I can't remember and its killing me! I think it was Lemon and you would always say it like "Lem-moan", remember when we would get it after playing put-putt in Muncie. I want to have conversations like we used to wabout stupid things like why you would leave Q-tips laying all around the house.
Nathan wrote a blog post about how you are still influencing people even after your gone. I'm writing a blogpost Bout how selfish I am because all I can think about is "What about me?" because I love you and miss you.

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